Farm Kid Writes Home After Joining The Marines. This Is Priceless.

A young farm kid wrote home after joining the marines with this hilarious letter. A version of this has been floating around the web for a while, but a reader recently submitted this slightly altered version, and it’s a great read. Check it out below.

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting used to it, so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on “route marches,” which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home. I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6″ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8″ and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter, Alice Boom! Marine, farm kid, and a young girl? Doesn’t get much tougher than that. Cracked a smile? Make sure to pass it on.

Related Posts

Foods You Should Avoid Making in a Cast Iron Skillet

I love cooking with cast iron. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner—it’s my go-to pan. Cast iron is tough and, with proper care, it can last for decades. However,…

BREAKING: Karmelo Anthony’s Parents KICKED OUT of Mansion After $30M Debt — Luxury Living Comes Crashing Down

It was the kind of Texas morning that sticks to your skin—humid, heavy, and thick with rumors. At the Anthony mansion in Frisco, the silence was louder…

BREAKING: Former U.S. President to Be Arrested for Treason and Espionage

In a move that could shake the nation to its core, the Department of Justice is reportedly preparing to indict and arrest former President Barack Obama. Sources…

Bongino Announces Major Arrest In Attack Against U.S. Border Agents

FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino has announced a major arrest in a case involving rock attacks against federal immigration authorities that left one agent wounded. Bongino and…

Rob Reiner’s Eldest Daughter Shares a Public Message After the Loss of Her Parents

Rob Reiner, the acclaimed filmmaker, actor, and cultural figure, and his wife, Michele Singer Reiner, have passed away, according to reports from major media outlets. The couple…

AT 62 LEFT FANS IN SILENCE

The world has grown unusually quiet around Michael J. Fox, and that silence has unsettled millions. For a man whose life has been lived so publicly, the…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *