Talladega “Pride Day” Sets Record for Lowest Attendance in Track History

Yet another milestone for the failing enterprise that is “Pride.” For a while, it was mainstream. Then the boycotts started. Now during the month that is supposed to celebrate the movement, “Pride” is a disastrous flop.

The proof is in the pudding, as some would say. Already, the NHL has canceled Pride Nights. Major League Baseball players are refusing to play and could shut the season down.

And now, in another dramatic display of horrible marketing, the Talladega Speedway just set the all-time record for lowest attendance in track history, on “Pride Day.”

“I think it was still fun,” said track supervisor Steve Ashbaucher, who is also half-gay, “but I don’t think we should do it again. It probably cost the owners half a mill or more to run a race with no fans in the stands.”

An official for the Talladega Speedway refused to comment, assuring us that the event didn’t harm the track or the sport.

“I’m sure there won’t be any blowback,” said Track Owner Joe Barron, “because it didn’t actually happen.” Barron pointed out that stories such as these often just occur spontaneously within the confines of the neural circuitry of a guy named Flaggt.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Shame on you, Talladega! And as always, patriots, God Bless America.

Related Posts

They Left Me Stranded 300 Miles Away as a Joke. Five Years Later, My Husband Found Me — and His Smile Vanished When He Saw Who Stood Behind Me.

The sound of their laughter still echoes in my nightmares sometimes—sharp and jagged, like glass shattering against concrete. But on that blazing afternoon five years ago, standing…

A Couple Left Me With A 400 Dinner Bill Until What They Forgot Changed Everything

When a couple walked out without paying for their dinner, I stood in the middle of the restaurant and cried, because I didn’t have the money to…

The studio was already buzzing before she even stepped onto the stage.

The high-pressure atmosphere of the game show was meticulously designed to overwhelm contestants, using bright lights, a roaring crowd, and a ticking countdown to dismantle confidence piece…

My Son Refused Payment for Every Lawn He Mowed That Summer, but His Final Job Ended With Police at Our Door

In a quiet neighborhood in central Ohio, 12-year-old Justin decided to spend his summer doing something most kids his age wouldn’t think to do: mowing the lawns…

I Welcomed a Teenager Into Our Family to Honor My Husband’s Last Wish — Then She Revealed a Long-Hidden Secret

The morning doctors told us David was nearing the end of his illness, our home already felt different. He was only forty-seven, and the thought of losing…

My Daughter Came Running Inside After Seeing Something in the Yard—What I Found Outside Changed How We Viewed Our Home

My daughter did not simply run inside that afternoon. She came through the door visibly shaken, with tears in her eyes and barely able to explain what…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *