HELL EXPLAINED

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct….. HIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Related Posts

They Told Me the $7,000 Repair Bill Was My Problem, but They Weren’t Ready for What I Did Next

A mechanic was stunned to discover that his two young sons had been inside his ex-wife’s Mercedes during a serious crash after she brought the damaged vehicle…

A Month Before Her Wedding, My Sister-in-Law Called to Say My 8-Year-Old Was No Longer Her Flower Girl Because They Were “Keeping It Simple”—At the Wedding, I Realized She Was the Only Child Left Out

An eight-year-old girl was left devastated after being unexpectedly removed from her aunt’s wedding, despite spending weeks preparing for her role as a flower girl. Sophie had…

I Thought My Marriage Was Secure — Then One Envelope Exposed What My Family Had Been Hiding

The envelope sat on the entryway table like a warning nobody wanted to touch. Printed across the back were the words DO NOT OPEN UNTIL ALL FOUR…

Two Women Arrived at Their Door With a Secret

A routine moment at a restaurant turned into an unexpected family drama when a pregnant waitress accidentally spilled tea on a male customer. The man reacted harshly,…

Many People Keep Butter At Room Temperature Without Thinking Twice… But How Safe Is It Really?

Salted butter can stay at room temperature longer than many other dairy products because its high fat content and lower moisture make it less likely to support…

I highly doubt that the post will be read carefully or shared, but I will still make it.

Bees are dying, and the risk goes far beyond the hive. As pesticides, habitat loss, and climate stress intensify, the world’s pollinators are coming under pressure in…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *