Chiefs Front Office Issues Travis Kelce an Ultimatum: Dump Taylor Swift or Go Somewhere Else

The Kansas City Chiefs don’t talk about it much, but the organization’s front office and ownership despises Taylor Swift.

“They just want her gone from the spotlight,” said team spokesman Joe Barron, “She comes to the games and half the crowd spends the game turning their heads to see if she’s gonna do something or they’re focused on the big screen shouting ‘Taylor, Taylor.’ It’s bad for football.”

A recent survey of the crowd found that rather than the 92 percent Chiefs fans to 8 percent opponents, they now regularly see 8 percent opponents and a 50-50 split between Chiefs fans and Swifties.

“They’ve started paying Eras Tour prices for their tickets,” said Barron, “So now the most popular jersey in the crowd is ‘Swift’ with the number 88. We’re not sure if it’s significant for some other reason than the natural inclination to believe she’s a Nazi.”

ALLOD Sports Correspondelatorist Tara Newhole took a deep dive into the issue and found it to be slightly exaggerated.

“Ever see the Jesus scene in The Stewie Griffin Movie? It’s kinda like that,” said Newhole, “When I heard Al Michaels got fired for disrespecting her I had to see for myself. It turns out he’s just a dick, the crowd couldn’t care less who’s sitting in the VIP boxes, and the cameras hit Taylor about as much as they should, considering she’s literally the most popular human being on the planet.”

Unfortunately, Tara turned out to be a Swifty so we’re not certain how accurate her rep[orting is on this one, patriots. We’ll keep you updated on this developing Story. God Bless America.

Related Posts

30 Minutes ago in California, Sen. Adam Schiff was confirmed as…See more

30 minutes ago in California, Sen. Adam Schiff was confirmed as making headlines once again after a significant political development brought his name to the forefront. Schiff,…

JIMMY KIMMEL SUSPENDED IN CONTROVERSY OVER CHARLIE KIRK COMMENTS

Jimmy Kimmel has been suspended indefinitely by ABC after making divisive comments about the assassination of Charlie Kirk. The host suggested the killer was a conservative, despite…

Donald Trump’s concerning 2 words to Melania after UK landing, revealed by lip reader

Donald and Melania Trump Arrive in UK for Windsor Stay Former U.S. President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania landed in Britain and headed directly to Windsor…

Donald Trump Criticized for Breaching Royal Protocol During UK Visit with King Charles

WINDSOR, England — Former U.S. President Donald Trump is once again under fire for his behavior during a high-profile meeting with the British royal family, after appearing…

Authorities Raid Soros-Backed Groups Over $3 Billion Foreign Funding Scandal

— In a sweeping operation that rocked the international NGO world, India’s Enforcement Directorate (ED) raided eight locations linked to George Soros’ Open Society Foundations (OSF) and…

Woman Who ‘Died and Spent Three Days in Heaven’ Shares an Ominous Glimpse of the Future

Beliefs about life after death vary across religions and cultures, with some envisioning an afterlife or reincarnation, while science remains inconclusive. Julie Poole, a self-proclaimed spiritual guru,…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *