Chiefs Front Office Issues Travis Kelce an Ultimatum: Dump Taylor Swift or Go Somewhere Else

The Kansas City Chiefs don’t talk about it much, but the organization’s front office and ownership despises Taylor Swift.

“They just want her gone from the spotlight,” said team spokesman Joe Barron, “She comes to the games and half the crowd spends the game turning their heads to see if she’s gonna do something or they’re focused on the big screen shouting ‘Taylor, Taylor.’ It’s bad for football.”

A recent survey of the crowd found that rather than the 92 percent Chiefs fans to 8 percent opponents, they now regularly see 8 percent opponents and a 50-50 split between Chiefs fans and Swifties.

“They’ve started paying Eras Tour prices for their tickets,” said Barron, “So now the most popular jersey in the crowd is ‘Swift’ with the number 88. We’re not sure if it’s significant for some other reason than the natural inclination to believe she’s a Nazi.”

ALLOD Sports Correspondelatorist Tara Newhole took a deep dive into the issue and found it to be slightly exaggerated.

“Ever see the Jesus scene in The Stewie Griffin Movie? It’s kinda like that,” said Newhole, “When I heard Al Michaels got fired for disrespecting her I had to see for myself. It turns out he’s just a dick, the crowd couldn’t care less who’s sitting in the VIP boxes, and the cameras hit Taylor about as much as they should, considering she’s literally the most popular human being on the planet.”

Unfortunately, Tara turned out to be a Swifty so we’re not certain how accurate her rep[orting is on this one, patriots. We’ll keep you updated on this developing Story. God Bless America.

Related Posts

White House: Shutdown Layoffs Will Be ‘North Of 10,000’

White House budget director Russ Vought is projecting that over 10,000 federal employees will be terminated due to the current government shutdown. Vought pledged to “continue the…

Eye floaters: what they are and what to do if you notice them, according to an eye doctor

Eye floaters are a common visual occurrence that many people notice but often misunderstand. They appear as tiny spots, threads, or cobweb-like shapes drifting across your vision,…

Why You Wake Up at 3 or 4 A.M. Every Night

Have you ever found yourself jolting awake in the middle of the night, only to see the clock glowing 3 or 4 a.m.? For many, this recurring…

I Kept Coming Home to a Toothpick in the Lock—Instead of Calling the Police, I Took Revenge on My Own Terms

After a long shift, the narrator discovered someone had jammed a toothpick into their door lock. When it happened again the next day, their brother helped set…

Improve your oral health naturally with garlic

Garlic for Oral Health If you’re looking for a simple, natural way to boost your oral health, your kitchen already holds the answer — garlic. Beyond adding…

The search for 18-year-old twins Carolina and Luiza is over, they were dea… See more

Search for Missing Twins Ends in Tragedy What began as a desperate search has ended in heartbreak. Authorities have confirmed that 18-year-old twins Carolina and Luiza, missing…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *