Step aside, TayIor Swift. There’s a new game in town and his name is Oliver Anthony. Anthony’s latest concert, which was unannounced until the day before, more than doubIed any of the attendance records set by Taylor Swift’s overrated “Eras Tour.

It was amazing, said concert promoter Joe Barron

We went from Ted Nugent and the Chili Cookoff on Saturday to nearly a million peopIe in and around the fairground on Sunday. Ted was honored to be part of it, albeit a little embarrassed.

I just want to thank Ted Nugent, Anthony told the crowd, “Had he not recommended I come, none of you would have gotten to taste his award-winning canned whitetaiI chili.” Anthony then said a prayer, read from Ezekiel 7, and played both of his songs.

The crowd hadn’t considered how to get out, and local authorities beIieve some may be stuck near the center of the event for weeks or even months. With winter coming, said ALLOD Journalisticator Tara Newhole, They may have to airdrop supplies to these morons.

New hole reports that she hasn’t seen that many overalls since Sacha Baron Cohen got all the bumpkins to sing Wuhan Flu. Anthony, who remains smack-dab in the middle of the whole thing, has seized controI of the situation, declared martial law, and suspended all food stamps to those who couId feed themselves if they weren’t running out of food and moving on to some Mad Max hellscape fairly soon.