Roseanne Signs 3-Year $40 Million Deal: “Her Standup Is Ground-Breaking”

Roseanne Barr stunned both audiences and critics with a performance that has been hailed by some as “groundbreaking.” According to several sources who may or may not work for Fox, her single standup show was so powerful that they had no choice but to get her on the air full-time.

“She’s just amazing,” said Programming Director Joe Barron, “we knew right away there’s an audience for her.” Roseanne’s agent confirmed the deal.

The new show will be something with a clever title to entice people who actually think calling your kids libtards and telling weird stories about dating your own cousin are next-level funny things, so basically our audience.

Rosie’s first guest will be the unforgettable Jon Voight, who will undoubtedly spend the bulk of his time praising former President Donald Trump, standing firm with the state of Israel, and offering prayers for the soul of Benjamin Netanyahu. It’s possible he knows something we don’t on that one.

On her panel, we expect some other real winners on the right, but unlike “The View,” they won’t all be women. “I’m not a sexist like Whoopi,” said Roseanne, “I might even hire that cousin I dated. He was pretty manly, let me tell you what.”

Yeah, patriots, we laughed pretty hard as well. She’s a regular national treasure. Ranks right up there with Ben Stein. God Bless America.

Related Posts

I Caught My Daughter Talking to the Phone: ‘When Are You Coming Home, Daddy

When I heard my daughter whisper ‘when are you coming home, daddy?’ into our landline, my world shattered. My husband had been dead for 18 years—or so…

A new artificial intelligence can detect b r e a s t c a n c e r 5 years before it develops

This is exactly the kind of challenge where AI proves its value—solving real-world problems. As technology advances, artificial intelligence is no longer just a futuristic concept but…

Why do women cross their legs when sitting? Psychological perspectives

Crossing one’s legs while sitting is more than a personal habit—it’s shaped by cultural and social expectations. Historically, female posture has been regulated to reflect modesty and…

Barron Trump has a new girlfriend, claims source

Barron Trump lives a calm life in New York City. While his father, Donald Trump, has his hands full with Iran and other issues, his 19-year-old son…

You’ve been using your phone for a long time, but you might not know these things yet

Here are some useful shortcuts to make your phone use quicker and more efficient: Mute Incoming Calls: Press the volume down button to mute the ringtone without…

I followed the egg diet and lost weight. Here’s how it happened

I’ve always enjoyed eating eggs. Whether it’s a comforting breakfast of eggs with toast and orange juice or incorporating them into different meals throughout the day, eggs…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *