Mel Gibson was slated to begin working on a $33 million project with the Gumba Production Company, owned and operated by Robert DeNiro. When he heard that DeNiro himself would be taking a role in the film, he backed out.
“He’s a creepy little guy,” said Gibson, “You can only handle so much of him before you just want to haul off and punch him in the neck.”
DeNiro has made waves lately with large amounts of hatred for former President Donald Trump. “He a punk; a bitch; a pile of excrement I scraped from my shoe,” said DeNiro, “He’s the worst thing on the planet next to childhood leukemia.”
Our experts have determined that while what DeNiro said may be true, there’s a good possibility he was wearing platform shoes while he said it, which makes him nothing but a liar.
“DeNiro is a great actor,” said ALLOD Entertainment Correspondelator Tara Newhole, “But if he’s not careful, he’ll earn himself the wrath of Hollywood bigshots like Scott Baio, Roseanne Barr, and the Hercules guy. Kiwi Sorbet or whatever his name is.”
Kiwi Sorbet, for the record, is the new name of this reporter’s jazz trio. We intend to cover Norwegian death metal.
We hope you’ve enjoyed the first installment of “punishing Robert DeNiro.” If it gets enough clicks he’ll get fired from all kinds of stuff. God Bless America.