Roseanne Signs 3-Year $40 Million Deal: “Her Standup Is Ground-Breaking”

Roseanne Barr stunned both audiences and critics with a performance that has been hailed by some as “groundbreaking.” According to several sources who may or may not work for Fox, her single standup show was so powerful that they had no choice but to get her on the air full-time.

“She’s just amazing,” said Programming Director Joe Barron, “we knew right away there’s an audience for her.” Roseanne’s agent confirmed the deal.

The new show will be something with a clever title to entice people who actually think calling your kids libtards and telling weird stories about dating your own cousin are next-level funny things, so basically our audience.

Rosie’s first guest will be the unforgettable Jon Voight, who will undoubtedly spend the bulk of his time praising former President Donald Trump, standing firm with the state of Israel, and offering prayers for the soul of Benjamin Netanyahu. It’s possible he knows something we don’t on that one.

On her panel, we expect some other real winners on the right, but unlike “The View,” they won’t all be women. “I’m not a sexist like Whoopi,” said Roseanne, “I might even hire that cousin I dated. He was pretty manly, let me tell you what.”

Yeah, patriots, we laughed pretty hard as well. She’s a regular national treasure. Ranks right up there with Ben Stein. God Bless America.

Related Posts

When Life Falls Apart and Comes Back Together: A Journey of Healing

ME: “A divorce? What about our four kids? What about our life?” HUSBAND: “You’ll manage. I’ll send money. Oh, and you can sleep on the couch or…

A Closer Look at Heather Locklear and Her Daughter Ava’s Inspiring Journey

Heather Locklear became one of television’s most recognizable stars throughout the 1980s and 1990s, thanks to her memorable performances and timeless on-screen presence. Born in Los Angeles…

FROM SWASHBUCKLING LEGEND TO TIMELESS ICON: HOW PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN AND CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW FOREVER CHANGED CINEMA

When Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl first sailed into theaters in 2003, few could have predicted the enormous cultural wave it would…

Zodiac Signs Commonly Linked to Intuitive or Vivid Dreaming

Dreams have fascinated people for centuries, appearing in many cultures as moments of imagination, reflection, and emotional insight. Whether soft and subtle or vivid and detailed, dreams…

A Home Filled With Memories — And the Final Gift My Father Left Behind

My father passed away, and his lawyer called me to read the will. He didn’t have much money, and I was his only child. I expected no…

Holy Father! No one imagined that today was this little one’s last day

Father in heaven! Nobody could have predicted that this child’s life would end today. See what happened to him in his own house by running. After drowning…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *